5 Salty Things To Do On Valentine’s Day

Well, it’s here. Valentine’s Day. And it’s fine. We’re fine. Really. It’s pretty much a mystery how this day came to be associated with love and flying babies anyway, so why not grab a friend, kick convention, and savor the day being salty together? Mix and match from the choices below to create your own romanceless adventure.

5-Salty-Activities-Valentines-Day

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If you’re a procrastinator, spend the day taking down your Christmas tree. If you’re a forward thinker, skip this saint’s day and head straight to the next: St. Patty’s. Is there a vegetable less alluring than cabbage? No. Eat lots of cabbage.

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If the only heart you want to see this holiday is anatomical, the International Museum of Surgical Science in Chicago is holding an after-hours tour showcasing human skulls, bonesaws, and other macabre marvels. This is just one of many morbid alternatives out there for the cynics among us. We can’t think of a more appropriate time to attempt axe throwing, batting cages, or self-defense classes.

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Speaking of axe throwing, maybe try it with some supervision at Bad Axe in Chicago. But, hey, if a haphazard weapon toss isn’t your thing, how about glass blowing, calligraphy, self-hypnosis, or trapeze? Check out Dabble for a wide range of local classes you never knew existed. Come on, girl. Treat yo’self.

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Stock up on your favorite thing and relish the fact that you don’t gotta share it with nobody. We recommend egg rolls, jelly beans, and — duh — popcorn.

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The cutesy decor at most bars and restaurants is enough to make you lose your appetite, but there are plenty of sarcastic shindigs being thrown. Chicago pro-tip: Simone’s is hosting an anti-Valentine’s-Day bash featuring angsty music and apathetic vibes. Yes, we’ll probably be there.

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