Gar. I repeat. Garrrrrr.
There be nothing that pirates love more than popcorn. Why? Because pirates hate eating veggies, and popcorn be a veggie that’s been transformed into a delicious snack.
To celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day, here be some of our favorite flavors. We’ve changed the names so the landlubbers won’t know what we’re parlaying about.
We’ve travelled to the Barbary Coast to get precious salt and all the way to Malabar for the blackest pepper. It be salty, a little spicy, and it grows on you — just like One-Eyed Mike.
Five flavors and five colors. It’s like a Mai Tai in a bag. Just add rum. And then some more rum. And maybe a little more rum.
Batten down the hatches and be sure ye have a glass of water. No. Not salt water, ye blasted swabby! It’s an inferno with enough spice to burn Poseidon’s tongue. One-Eyed Mike seen it with his own eye.
Ye’ll find these beasts down at yonder corner of the treasure map, below the Cape of Good Hope and beyond the place where the wind cries Mary. There lurks a clan of cookie monsters who guard a treasure chest full of gold — popped gold.
When enemies be trying to board the Black Pearl, keep them at bay by launching some of this at their starboard bow. If they get orange fingers, it’s nacho problem.