A Double Good Basketball Guide

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News flash: it’s cold out. As the wind whips and the mercury dips, we’re fans of staying on our couches and watching indoor sports, just to be safe. That means tuning in to some basketball and seeing how the Bulls are doing (spoiler alert: not great). You’re welcome to join us, so just in case you’re new to basketball fandom, we’ve thrown together a quick and easy reference guide to help you follow the action… Double Good style.

Alley-Oop
On the court, this is when one player throws it above the rim for another guy to dunk. For us, it’s when someone launches a bag of popcorn halfway across the kitchen to a waiting friend with a big bowl.

Pick and Roll
A classic play designed to confuse the defense. In our world, it’s when some heathen sifts through the Chi-Town Chow Down popcorn and eats all the cheesy kernels before leaving the party. We’re looking at you, Dan from Finance. See also: Cherry picking, which is TOTALLY illegal.

Triple Threat
Any player that has the option to run, pass, or shoot is a triple threat. In our minds, anything that combines popcorn, cheese, and caramel is a triple threat. What’s up, Easy Peasy Caramel Cheesy.

Three-Pointer
A longer-range shot that rewards the player with an additional point. Or, around here, hungrily pointing your finger three times at your coworker’s bowl of popcorn while you’re on a conference call. That’s what the “mute” button is for.

Posting Up
On the court, a big man with his back to the basket. For us, it’s standing around waiting while the popcorn’s being popped, lurking for some fresh-out-of-the-kettle goodness.

Going Hard to the Rack
A synonym for an especially hard slam dunk, usually embarrassing a defender. In these offices, it’s going at your Double Good by the fistful, usually embarrassing only one’s self. Wipe that cheddar off your face, Dan.

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